Me: "ok it's weird that really clean functional-style Scala is slightly slower than really cluncy imperative Scala"
Me: "oh so 2.12 has a new compiler let's try that"
My code compiled with 2.12.10: *is even slower*

At this point I don't even understand the point of Scala

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It's like it's trying to be several different langages and none of them work right because it has to be compatible with Java

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