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Your questions about my tight pants

Have already been answered

By my "the comfort of straight people is not among our goals" tank

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Pro tip:

If you pack only spandex

It's easier to get all your clothes in a backpack

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QR codes that just say "scan me" have extremely "Alice in Wonderland about to have her world destroyed" energy

creating a new carbon offset startup where we just do large scale industrial sabotage and use the money we get for the best lawyers available

Waiter: Where are you from?

Us: Canada

Waiter: I think there's too many Canadians here

Us: ... sorry

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Apple Maps: *Shows a location circle completely encompassing the entire city of Florence, indicating it knows we're somewhere in the city but it has absolutely no more information than that*

Me: Same

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There's two American straight bros in front of us on the train now and they're trying to outdo each other with their relations' military careers and insight into current European military engagements

I don't know much about the subject but

I do know that everything they've been saying is bs

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Selfie with eye contact 

I'm going to heist the Coliseum like I'm Carmen Sandiego

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i like that the methodology for this is that they told the cat which of its cat friends they were gonna show it, and the cat was like "ok", and then they showed it a different cat and the cat was like "hey wait a minute"

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important research about cats being friends with each other: "Cats learn the names of their friend cats in their daily lives"

Canadian trans people:

If I have to leave Montreal because of the language law, where's a good place for trans people? I'm on disability, so like, I need somewhere that isn't super expensive, somewhere I can get like, all the help with trans medical stuff, and like, a welcoming community towards trans people and immigrants and stuff?

I really like Montreal, but if I can't get medical help or therapy in English, there's no way I can keep living there.

Going back to the US won't work either.

My stupid star trek series pitch 

So, young Robert April, he's overseeing the Enterprise construction, we think we're going to see his adventures with Pike.

But what we actually see is his relationship with Sarah. A love of learning about new cultures and a fight to make his an exploration mission. The future is before him. And then... it's not. He's had his time as captain of the Enterprise. He's seen his new worlds and new civilizations, and been admiral and been forced into retirement.

But! Thanks to the magic of the animated series, Bob and Sarah April are suddenly young again! They take new paths, use what they've learn, make it count. But this time, they absolutely refuse to retire. Our two old folks buy a small craft and go see all the places they never got to see!

And on their adventures they make it all the way out to a quasi-legal federation outpost in Bajor... Just in time for the invasion. Left alive is only little newly-orphaned Alynna Nechayev, and they're going to show her the stars.

The "0" in C3P0

politics, oregon, crypto, schadenfreude 

Crypto shitheads spend a fortune trying to get a bro elected.

They failed.

Non-vegan kink mention 

[Berlin flag emoji]: leather daddy
[Bavarian flag emoji]: felt grandpa

Saying "come on, this one was good" each time I boost my own toots

pride month, uspol, corporations, military industrial complex 

Pride month is coming soon! 🏳️‍🌈 Big companies love you! They love you so much! They're gay for you! They love when you spend money! Remember, say "Thanks, Daddy Lockheed Martin!" for their Next Generation Interceptor missiles, now rainbow colored to show solidarity with the LGBT community! 🥰 Oh, it makes me so happy! Maybe Daddy Biden will appoint a trans woman as the next Secretary of Defense so we can get ✨ representation ✨ when our government kills civilians! Big companies love you! They love your money! The government loves you! We did it! ❤️

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