Pinned toot

Dear hiring committee members,

Your insistence that you are "not hiring for any tenure track positions in bioethics at the moment," is an interesting opening gambit in our negotiations, and I applaud your persistence on this point after so many emails

My counter-offer, that you are indeed hiring a tenure track professor and compensating very generously, remains firm, however I am willing to haggle over the following minor points ...

Who called it "repeatedly and loudly apologizing in German," and not 

"Banging on the entschuldigong"

talking to an ai quack:

me: so you think man will be battling machines in the near future??

quack: Yes, possibly months!!

me: will it be hot

quack: I'm sorry, I don't-

me: will the man and machine wrestle in a homoerotic fashion

quack: .......

I just got a message from someone I helped to set up some software for their research

It's working!

It's doing what they expected!!

:Trek: :Discovery: 🖖 

Still holding out hope for Sybok in season 3

Me: I actually got a fair bit done today

My colleague: The email server has been down all day today

Me: Ohhhhh

:Trek: opinions 

Sommelier: ... Yes, it is good for an upset tummy, now that you mention it

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:Trek: opinions 

Blood wine sommelier: You see, this vintage is very pink and opaque because it comes from the Blarghblorgh region, whose enemies tend to have the Pepto Bismol blood factor

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:Trek: opinions 

Bring back the Star Trek VI Pepto Bismol coloured Klingon blood

is it wrong to want to abandon academia because I want to have more time to have gay sex and look at clouds?

More tech company grumbles; It's that kinda day 

I remember thinking how gross it was to use Word on a Mac back in like 2011

How even the buttons for dialog boxes looked like someone did a screenshot of a Mac OS button and then badly photoshopped new words over it

Everything was done in the most begrudging, least UI-consistent way possible, as if they were trying to piss the user off

And I thought it was an Microsoft-hates-Apple thing

But no

It's just a "Microsoft wants Word to be bad" thing

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More tech company grumbles; It's that kinda day 

It's remarkable how Office is, in some ways, Microsoft's flagship product

And yet when you use it, on Windows—their own OS—it's so janky and inconsistent with the rest of Windows and just ... bad

Fibonachos (I went to way too much trouble setting up this joke).

"Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I wasn't exactly 1 inch too tall to go off and fight in the war," said Big Luke, as he wiped down the counter at Big Luke's Womp Rat Exterminatorium and Moisture Bar, wistfully. "What if I wasn't Bigger Luke, just Regular Luke?"

"Anyway, can I get you another water-in-a-cup? A damp cloth maybe? Squirt from a spray bottle?"

Clothing that I would make if I had the ability 

🍍 Lab-coat tank-top

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