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Dear hiring committee members,

Your insistence that you are "not hiring for any tenure track positions in bioethics at the moment," is an interesting opening gambit in our negotiations, and I applaud your persistence on this point after so many emails

My counter-offer, that you are indeed hiring a tenure track professor and compensating very generously, remains firm, however I am willing to haggle over the following minor points ...

This is a joke 

@bgcarlisle also, skirts do rock in german πŸ‘—


"Smart Water" is a lie if it were "smart" it wouldn't have gotten caught and bottled

Selfie with eye contact 

Imma start saying "when la sagrada familia is finished" for things that are never going to happen

Does anyone know a good site to help check pronunciations of non-anglo names?
Want to make sure I'm saying a person's name correctly but the internet is Not helping me out

:emacs: :ohno: 

And this was because I was already using Emacs to work on a project with Python and R code D:

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The fact that we can have multiple open source operating systems but not one open source fully fledged browser that is not tied to a company worries me. The web truly has gotten way too complex.

"Space Oddity" was actually written about Tom Lovil, a major in the Bajoran Militia 2375-2380 :Bajor:

:emacs: :ohno: 

I've started using Emacs as a file manager in certain cases just because it's faster

Oh jeez

hmm nope. don't edit scary stories after dark. lol

Markov bot text 

VIC: I want to hear them? Besides, the money's kept in a row at the back of the human heart.

a baby-sitter 🀝 a responsible adult
being able to mind a child

This is a joke 

The German word for "pants" is "lederhosen"

Which comes from the German word "leider," meaning "unfortunately," and "hosen," meaning "pants"

Which sums up how we all feel about pants, if we're being real about it

Mathematicians are always talking about "the function f of x". They are saying things like "f of x equals this" and "f of x is defined as that". Well what is it then. They can't all be right

tired: naming your kid sql injection like that one stick figure comic
inspired: naming your kid something that excel parses and reformats

If your Tesla gets stolen it becomes an Edison. I don't make the rules.

I discovered today that the copier room is air conditioned to heck

To heck I say

If you need to chilly down and quick, go scan some paperwork there

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