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Nesting my parentheses in chats with buddies like I'm a gd dot-Emacs config file

Please tell me your favorite terrible groaner of a joke

LGBT rights, Poland, please boost 

(Reposted from Birdside, thread)

Today, the Polish parliament will read a proposed law that makes it illegal to "promote homosexuality", including - I am not exaggerating - pretty much ANY positive talk of LGBT+ people and their rights in public settings.

And foreign media seem almost entirely silent on this.

The law was drafted a while ago, but didn't get into the Parliament for procedural reasons.

It EXPLICITLY bans e.g.:

I'm appalled that isn't a fedi instance dedicated to puns

~ At the end of a religious ceremony ~

The priest, gesturing beatifically and chanting, 🎢 This site uses cookies 🎢

The congregation replies, 🎢 I accept 🎢

No one remembers what this means or why we say it

Browsing the web in Europe in 2020 

No I don't want you to "cookies" me

But I also want to spend exactly 0 time "managing cookies settings"

I hate the web 

Hello, this site uses Cookies

You don't get a choice in being tracked or anything

But, cookies

It's a thing I guess

On our site

And now the top 20% of your phone is covered with a jQuery-animated "accept" button

So that you can accept that they are a Thing That Exists

You're welcome, visitor

Markov bot text 

ZIYAL: Father, I helped Major Kira and my father was a mistake.

One of my students used the phrase "he had muscles more defined than any word in the English dictionary," and I'm in pain.

It's awesome, but it's so corny.

A reminder that transphobia on Scholar Social gets your account deleted (and all its alts blocked)

Trans women are women, full-stop.


I mean, I don't want one that bad

This was a throwaway joke, not a long-time passion of mine

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Upon reading the crypto wikipedia article, cryptozoology includes young earth creationism?


I just want a word for weirdo monsters that excludes cryptocurrency bros and dangerous superchristians

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what do you call a birthing uniform? 


an excerciser 🀝 Your fifth marriage
being able to work out

Jokes about killing god will never not be funny to me

You can't punch up any higher than that

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Oh god I'm sorry everyone, someone reminded me of :ReBoot: and here we are 

A friend of mine saw this and said

"God is dead and we have killed him. He only has two lives left."

And I kind of want that on a t-shirt

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