:Trek: Picard trailer 

The writers for Star Trek: Picard decided that the only things that they're going to build on are what they think the "average viewer" will remember

So we got 7/9 and a Borg cube

All the parts of TNG-era Star Trek that have been done to death

Time for me to send some more unsolicited screenplays to CBS

Show thread

:Trek: Picard trailer 

If they're going to bring back 7/9, they should at least have the consistency to also bring back her arch-nemesis

The Rock

Show thread
Follow

:Trek: Picard trailer 

Better premise for Star Trek: Picard

The Romulan Empire has fallen, creating a refugee crisis

Remans, who were, for a long time, oppressed by the Romulans, are able to adapt and thrive now that the cycle of systemic racism has been broken, to the resentment of their Romulan counterparts

Picard, who has long had uneasy relationships with Romulans, now finds himself in a position where he might be able to prevent violence from breaking out

Β· Web Β· 7 Β· 6 Β· 11

:Trek: Picard trailer 

Like, it's really not hard to just make stuff up that doesn't suck

Just leave out the stuff that sucks, that's all

Like: the Borg

Show thread

:Trek: Picard trailer 

A threatening-looking Reman runs through a cave with Romulans in dusty old uniforms in pursuit, looking scared

The Reman loses them, hiding in a side-passage, and the Romulans go out in the open, to rejoin a bigger group of citizen militia members, holding old Romulan banners and chanting nationalist slogans, suddenly looking much less sympathetic

Camera back to the Reman who is joined by their family and a man in a hood who reveals himself to be Picard

[Opening credits]

Show thread

:Trek: Picard trailer 

So we're stuck with Borg Mystery Girl as plot for season 1

Which: meh

But maybe I can get them to hire me to write: Something More Interesting for S2 if I send them enough unsolicited screenplays

Show thread

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@bgcarlisle Somebody at Paramount please, PLEASE hire this individual

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@andi My preferred method of payment is:

Brown satchels filled with simoleons with a dollar sign on them

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@bgcarlisle okay but hear me out. Picard retires from starfkeet, gets bored and sets himself up as a private investigator like his hero Dixon hill. Each season plays out like a noir novel

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@taweret @bgcarlisle except he's hilariously bad at it and seems not to understand any of the actual tropes of noir, just like in the original tng dixon hill episodes

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@taweret @bgcarlisle

Well, they shoulda' just given Stewart a detective show and cut out the middleman! :P

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@xenophora @bgcarlisle because then there couldn't be plots involving the cardassians or romulans

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@taweret @bgcarlisle

True, but I dunno'... franchises (as others have sort of pointed out here) can create a lot of dead weight over time, resulting in fans and insiders squabbling all the time instead of actually enjoying The Thing.

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@bgcarlisle Benjamin Sisko's ghost appears to give him tips

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@Aepasek "My dad always used to say, that soufflΓ© is either going to rise, or it won't ..."

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@bgcarlisle I like the Borg but come on pls give Picard a new existential crisis, him and Sisko are literally the only two characters across the whole damn franchise who are able to resolve existential crises in an interesting way.

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@bgcarlisle Which when you're a sci fi series IS REALLY PRETTY GODDAMN *SAD*

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@andi Right? It's not that there's a dearth of material to work with either

This guy had a complicated life, and people are smart

They will remember some obscure thing and let you grow in that direction if you give them a chance

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@andi @bgcarlisle queue the existential crisis they only can solve *together*

(there's slash about that isn't there?)

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@tethre @bgcarlisle Sorry slow delay I was preoccupied sorry wait brb again

Bad CWing; lewd 

@tethre @bgcarlisle

Sorry that was a masturbation joke

:Trek: Picard trailer 

@bgcarlisle Shit, I'd watch that.

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Scholar Social

Scholar Social is a microblogging platform for researchers, grad students, librarians, archivists, undergrads, academically inclined high schoolers, educators of all levels, journal editors, research assistants, professors, administratorsβ€”anyone involved in academia who is willing to engage with others respectfully.