* The computer with less computer in it!
* No more surprises, unless you go on like FB or something, then that one's on you
* Tack-a-tack-a-tack-a (that's the sound you make while typing on a Typey boy)


*Slaps e-ink screen*

"This Typey Boy can fit so many pixels in it!"

(Not that many pixels, like 800x600, tops)

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More slogans:

* Your life—in monochrome!!
* Can it do that? No, thank goodness!
* An abacus is probably faster; speed wasn't exactly our priority let's be real

The commercial can be like the "before" part of those infomercials with people trying to do simple things, but being foiled by Computer

More slogans:

* Low (power consumption) and slow (at doing things)
* How much slower? All the way, baby
* It doesn't try to help!
* .txt file-compatible!

@ben I've been screaming about this for literally years and I hate it so much.

@ben Literally the only thing we've changed in everyday (non-game) use that should require more computing power is that we watch video now which we already have efficient as shit hardware for.

@bgcarlisle i don't know if you know each other, but you and @SuricrasiaOnline will get along great


Here's one:

* Stuck? Fuck you. Turn it off and on, don't do that again.

* That dimming of the lights every time you plug it in? That's a feature, yo!

@tewha No no

I don't want a bad computer

I just want one with less of the surprising and unnecessary parts of modern ones!

@bgcarlisle I was thinking high power consumption for some reason! Like it was powered by an overclocked 6502.

@bgcarlisle I'm digging how this is precisely a Freewrite Traveller, while being the exact opposite of everything Freewrite is trying to do as a Brand™️

@bgcarlisle Buy up a bunch of AlphaSmarts, stick your logo on them and resell them as Typey Boys.

I had one of these things many years ago and it was great, although I could never get the files to properly transfer over to my PC.

@Hiro Warning, this fantasy product runs:

Emacs and only Emacs

You can read and write non-formatted text files

Literally nothing else

@bgcarlisle Damn. Oh well I’ll code my own VIM with Emacs Lisp then! Should keep me entertained for a while, and without eye strain, I can go at it 24/7!! Great product!

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