Starting a brand of computers called "Typey boy"

Slogan:

* The computer with less computer in it!
* No more surprises, unless you go on like FB or something, then that one's on you
* Tack-a-tack-a-tack-a (that's the sound you make while typing on a Typey boy)

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*Slaps e-ink screen*

"This Typey Boy can fit so many pixels in it!"

(Not that many pixels, like 800x600, tops)

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More slogans:

* Your life—in monochrome!!
* Can it do that? No, thank goodness!
* An abacus is probably faster; speed wasn't exactly our priority let's be real

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The commercial can be like the "before" part of those infomercials with people trying to do simple things, but being foiled by Computer

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More slogans:

* Low (power consumption) and slow (at doing things)
* How much slower? All the way, baby
* It doesn't try to help!
* .txt file-compatible!

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@bgcarlisle

Here's one:

* Stuck? Fuck you. Turn it off and on, don't do that again.

@bgcarlisle
* That dimming of the lights every time you plug it in? That's a feature, yo!

@tewha No no

I don't want a bad computer

I just want one with less of the surprising and unnecessary parts of modern ones!

@bgcarlisle I was thinking high power consumption for some reason! Like it was powered by an overclocked 6502.

@bgcarlisle I'm digging how this is precisely a Freewrite Traveller, while being the exact opposite of everything Freewrite is trying to do as a Brand™️

@bgcarlisle Buy up a bunch of AlphaSmarts, stick your logo on them and resell them as Typey Boys.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AlphaSma

I had one of these things many years ago and it was great, although I could never get the files to properly transfer over to my PC.

@Hiro Warning, this fantasy product runs:

Emacs and only Emacs

You can read and write non-formatted text files

Literally nothing else

@bgcarlisle Damn. Oh well I’ll code my own VIM with Emacs Lisp then! Should keep me entertained for a while, and without eye strain, I can go at it 24/7!! Great product!

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