Them: It's "Amsterdam," not "Hamsterdam"
Me: *Visions of a tiny city for hamsters in my head* What
Lewd or not depending on perspective
Happy Pride to you too Amsterdam
I hope I don't fall in a canal
I hope I don't get crunched by a bicycle or tram
Who called it "public transit via light rail in Amsterdam"
And not
"The Amstertram"
The elevator here has a "BG" button
I munched a vegan kapsalon
Tour guide: This building's original façade was constructed from flammable wood
Me: Go on
Tour guide: And so it burned down
Me: 
✅ Vegan kapsalon
✅ Stroopwaffel
✅ Vegan betterballen
Kaassoufflé
Dutch person: We never drink a bottle of wine that has been given to us in front of the person who gave it; what if it sucks and they see our faces?
Me: Truly you are an enlightened people
I'm just gonna say it
Get the small size stroopwaffel
It's like two slabs of sugar baked with more sugar, stuck together with sugar with different sugar on top
So like
It's good but wow you get the jittery sleepies after
It's Dolly Parton music in the hotel lobby!!
Hello it is me
The knower and recognizer of people with the Québec accent
Going to Brussels and being murdered within minutes for asking for vinegar on my frites
This bar has an obelisk in it
Can't have a bar without a good obelisk, I guess
There's a lot of children in this fountain
There's another one
Where so they come from?
Gay bar or gtfo
No I don't care that your bar is "gay friendly"
They never are
You're Frenemies of Dorothy at best
"The management wishes no specific harm to queer people" ≠ "The clientele isn't dangerous to queer people if they can tell they're queer"
We found the gay bar
The mocktails are great
This spicy tomato juice is fantastic
Medium lewd I guess; it's a sex shop storefront
Idk why everyone says the statue of the boy pissing is disappointing
This guy's rocking it
Idk what to tell you, it's more, worse dick jokes
Also the quiche comes with either uhh *squints* "hardons" or 🍆
@bgcarlisle Whoever it was is hereby Amsterdamned (?)
@bgcarlisle goes straight to your floor, no stops
@bgcarlisle wow how did I never think about that damn
@bgcarlisle the fact that it sticks your teeth together is a feature not a bug
@bgcarlisle first time in Brussels, I asked for mustard for my fries, to unbelieving eyes. (Quickly learnt andalouse sauce is the better option.)
@bgcarlisle The management likes your money.
@bgcarlisle also applies to any other kind of minority
@bgcarlisle I need a name, an address, and an academic conference/workshop nearby so I can go.
@bgcarlisle also holy crap that is the most Belgian entrance door ever
no frites in a cone
Bancotact sticker
bilingual FR/NL surveillance camera-law sign
(Hope you're enjoying it here!)
A lot of dicks
@bgcarlisle i want to eat the one with the purple streusels
Medium lewd I guess; it's a sex shop storefront
@bgcarlisle they could have made the manneken pis not piss on the rainbow flag though
Medium lewd I guess; it's a sex shop storefront
@talessio I think it was supposed to be pissing rainbows but then it fell?
@bgcarlisle Oooh I Love a good mocktail
@bgcarlisle the fountain spouts children
@bgcarlisle it's the Fountain of Fertility! 😇
@bgcarlisle reminds me of that vintage art of couples or lone women fending off storks who are trying to hand them babies
@ljwrites The struggle is real apparently??
@bgcarlisle oh no, mayonnaise only!
@bgcarlisle I think they would simply not comprehend why you would want to do that, nor have vinegar on hand to provide 🤔
@tobi You are correct
They did not, in fact, have vinegar
@bgcarlisle oh you did this for real? :D what did you settle for instead?
@tobi Ketchup alas
@bgcarlisle Ah yes, the delicious "cheese" snacks that have a composition so suspect that they might actually end up being unintentionally vegan
@bgcarlisle I call it a huge money pit that took forever and causes me nothing but trouble, but Amstertram is good too
@bgcarlisle Now I'm picturing hamsters on a small train.
@bgcarlisle I misremembered this post as "tramsterdam" and now I can't decide which is better.
Omg the drag queen bar is playing Dolly Parton