Them: It's "Amsterdam," not "Hamsterdam"

Me: *Visions of a tiny city for hamsters in my head* What

Lewd or not depending on perspective 

Happy Pride to you too Amsterdam

Who called it "public transit via light rail in Amsterdam"

And not

"The Amstertram"

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Omg the drag queen bar is playing Dolly Parton

Tour guide: This building's original façade was constructed from flammable wood

Me: Go on

Tour guide: And so it burned down

Me: :SurprisedOtter:

✅ Vegan kapsalon
✅ Stroopwaffel
✅ Vegan betterballen
:loading: Kaassoufflé

Dutch person: We never drink a bottle of wine that has been given to us in front of the person who gave it; what if it sucks and they see our faces?

Me: Truly you are an enlightened people

I'm just gonna say it

Get the small size stroopwaffel

It's like two slabs of sugar baked with more sugar, stuck together with sugar with different sugar on top

So like

It's good but wow you get the jittery sleepies after

Hello it is me

The knower and recognizer of people with the Québec accent

Going to Brussels and being murdered within minutes for asking for vinegar on my frites

This bar has an obelisk in it

Can't have a bar without a good obelisk, I guess

There's a lot of children in this fountain

There's another one

Where so they come from?

Gay bar or gtfo

No I don't care that your bar is "gay friendly"

They never are

You're Frenemies of Dorothy at best

"The management wishes no specific harm to queer people" ≠ "The clientele isn't dangerous to queer people if they can tell they're queer"

We found the gay bar

The mocktails are great

This spicy tomato juice is fantastic

Medium lewd I guess; it's a sex shop storefront 

Idk why everyone says the statue of the boy pissing is disappointing

This guy's rocking it

Idk what to tell you, it's more, worse dick jokes 

Also the quiche comes with either uhh *squints* "hardons" or 🍆

You'd think that Brussels Central Station and Brussels Midi Station would be the same thing but they're not

@bgcarlisle the fact that it sticks your teeth together is a feature not a bug

@bgcarlisle first time in Brussels, I asked for mustard for my fries, to unbelieving eyes. (Quickly learnt andalouse sauce is the better option.)

@bgcarlisle I need a name, an address, and an academic conference/workshop nearby so I can go.

@bgcarlisle also holy crap that is the most Belgian entrance door ever

no frites in a cone
Bancotact sticker
bilingual FR/NL surveillance camera-law sign

(Hope you're enjoying it here!)

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A lot of dicks 

@bgcarlisle i want to eat the one with the purple streusels

Medium lewd I guess; it's a sex shop storefront 

@bgcarlisle they could have made the manneken pis not piss on the rainbow flag though

Medium lewd I guess; it's a sex shop storefront 

@talessio I think it was supposed to be pissing rainbows but then it fell?

Medium lewd I guess; it's a sex shop storefront 

@bgcarlisle that would make more sense, yes 😂

@bgcarlisle reminds me of that vintage art of couples or lone women fending off storks who are trying to hand them babies

@ljwrites Omg this city is a minefield

There's a statue of a woman where one of the passers by told us that if you rub her arm you get pregnant in a month, although the Wikipedia says it only ensures your return to Brussels

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@bgcarlisle I think they would simply not comprehend why you would want to do that, nor have vinegar on hand to provide 🤔

@bgcarlisle oh you did this for real? :D what did you settle for instead?

@bgcarlisle Ah yes, the delicious "cheese" snacks that have a composition so suspect that they might actually end up being unintentionally vegan

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