Pinned toot

All my publications are available on this page. Tell me if that is not the case and I will add anything missing.

Programming in 2020:

Can't wait to boot up my APPLE to open up my MICROSOFT text editor and GOOGLE for solutions to FACEBOOK's technical debt in my MICROSOFT repository so I can deploy to AMAZON and I'll pay GOOGLE and FACEBOOK for the privilege of getting site traffic to show my visitors ads.

Update: Mast is not great on MacOS. Timelines jump around, only a few settings are available etc.

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All my publications are available on this page. Tell me if that is not the case and I will add anything missing.

I just realised that Mast has an MacOS version and you get both that and the iOS version when you buy one. :BlobCatRainbow:

researcher association, conference, big tech 

Participating in the Association of Internet Researchers yearly conference this week. Had a perfect reminder about what kind of researchers it is for: the program is only available via a Google calendar and there is session on how to collaborate with Big Tech.

Removed font awesome from the site template I was using, cutting down almost half of the page size. I lost a couple of pretty icons in the process, but the site works really fast and still looks great, with only a few hunder kb.

Horrible edtech 

I think my department has moved away from exams for at least the year, but this company's behavior makes a great case for avoiding any situation that involves online/remote exams (beyond the highly intrusive nature of this sort of software).

And I personally am looking to recruit Linguistics MA/PhD students to work with me.

Areas I can supervisor research in include:
- formal #semantics,
- #syntax/semantics,
- historical linguistics,
- #languages of India (esp. #IndoAryan) & the #Caribbean
- #linguistics & #Lisp

For my profile, see:
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I've played 200+ hours of this game and I really love it. Roguelike fans, card-game fans, go grab it!

(it's also on other gaming platforms but it's on sale on steam)

It's really not fair that investing in ONE literally-suck-the-blood-of-the-young-to-promise-old-rich-people-immortality startup makes people snigger and make 'vampire' jokes despite ALL the billions of dollars of completely non-literally-blood-ingesting military-industrial spying and wealth-transfer-to-the-already-very-rich capitalism you've done

but life isn't fair.

Hey @bgcarlisle, I just got myself a Remarkable 2. I remember you saying that you have the first one. Have you written about how you use it? I tried searching your blog, but couldn't find anything.

The first named literary author in #history was Enheduanna, daughter of Sargon of Akkad. The high priestess of the goddess Inanna and the moon god Nanna, she was a poet who shaped the genre of votive and epic #poetry in the ancient world. #Sumer

🤦‍♀️ are you kidding me?

IEC, ISO and ITU celebrate World Standards Day on 2020-10-14, but ANSI celebrates the same day a week later.


Proctorio tries to silence learning technologist 

A Learning Technology Specialist at UBC was rightly critical of Proctorio so the company is suing him - . Considering the ethical, technical or other transgressions of automated test proctoring/surveillance tools like Proctorio, it's worth spreading the word. His legal defence: GoFundMe campaign.

Good blog post here: In Defence of Ian Linkletter -

Being apolitical is the privileged being political.


I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”


“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.

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Scholar Social

Scholar Social is a microblogging platform for researchers, grad students, librarians, archivists, undergrads, academically inclined high schoolers, educators of all levels, journal editors, research assistants, professors, administrators—anyone involved in academia who is willing to engage with others respectfully.