mock indignation, just kidding 

in the Hokkaidō coastal dialect, [ai] becomes [ɛ]. [ae] becomes [ɛ]. [ei] becomes [ɛ], and [oi] becomes [ɛ]. [ue] becomes [ɛ]. [ie] becomes [ɛ].

(not true) in fact all vowel sequences become [ɛ]. Hokkaidōjineans are plotting to replace every diphthong in the world by [ɛ], and ɛ for ɛn ɛlcome ɛr nɛ ɛverlords.

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